


Wait for Me

by DiPerleNere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiPerleNere/pseuds/DiPerleNere
Summary: After a near-death experience, Levi is reunited with his husband Erwin. But the war is not over and neither is the life that Levi had to live without Erwin
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith, Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 60





	Wait for Me

He lays in the tall grass, his hands losing their grip on the ground as his breathing is shallow with each breath. His eyes, bloody bruised and bloodshot red fight to stay open but the lull of the wind, dancing around his ears calls him to sleep. The rays of the noon sun paint his body and all the surroundings in yellow, hoping that one day this man would touch it and turn to gold. 

\- 

His body sinks into the plush bed, calling his muscles to release their tension. He groans in the bed, the comforts foreign to him. It is not the aching of his body, the soreness of his throat, or heavy eyes that call him to wake due to their pain. No, it is the sound of birds chirping outside the window, the waves crashing into the shore, and the sound that haunted his man for many years, silence. 

His grey eyes flicker, adjusting to the light of the room. He quickly rises from the bed, not recognizing the room at all. It is grander than any room at the base for the Survey Corps and cleaner the man adds. The single bed informs him that it’s a child's room but with no pictures of the child, books, or shoes he wonders what he is doing here. 

Levi walks through the house slowly, grabbing a knife from the kitchen. He is not sure when he’s healed or when he was taken by the enemy but there is no doubt in his mind that he is in a foreign place. He wanders up the stairs to find three other bedrooms, all plain in their decorations and no indication of residence. 

Yet this place seems to have many ghosts. As if this place was made for him, to haunt him and torture him, giving him the life, he wished he had. But something is missing -someone missing from this house- from his arms and from his life. 

Levi cannot stay in this place; it is too alluring and disturbing in one breath. He takes his stride going through the front door. As he reaches the bottom step, he stops. The sea does not call Levi forward nor does the beauty of the setting sun, but a figure staring out at it. 

_It’s him. It has to be him._

The man wore a white shirt with blue jeans and faced the ocean. From here, Levi could tell that this man was his. He would know him by the tilt in his head, the inquisitive look he had always known. The man’s back to him, the one Levi clung to, scratched up in all his raw and heated passion. The same back that carried him when he was injured. The strong stance of the man was imposing as ever, even when he was doing nothing but existing. But what still Levi’s thoughts, froze him in his place and took his breath away, locking it in a box of hidden treasures as the man had two arms. 

_Only in my dreams is he with me and then ripped from me when I wake, and he takes my breath and sanity with him._

Levi isn’t sure what signals the man of his presence, but he turns around. His blue eyes bore into Levi’s reaching and spanning over fields, but their eyes and hearts connect. Those blond caterpillars still sit on his face and Levi can’t help but miss them. His nose is as pointed as ever, and those blue eyes still have the power to let Levi drown himself in them

“Levi.” The man says, his voice carried by the wind. 

Levi says nothing, his feet carry him slowly to the man. They walk until they’re in the center of the field. Levi wants to reach out, to grasp the man but the fear settles in. The fear that this moment is a cruel trick, a dream that seemed too real and would end the same. Levi, waking up in bed with a pillow drenched in tears. 

Neither man knows what to say, neither was prepared for this reunion. Had he known that this is how he’d be reunited with his love, with his commander then he would have been prepared. But it was the impulsivity and crassness of Levi that this man loved about him. Levi searches his mind for what to say to the man before him. He isn’t sure if an apology is warranted or if it would be accepted. 

“If I’d know this was hell, I would have followed you sooner,” Levi says, not sure why that was the first thing to fall from his lips. 

He doesn’t look at the man as he speaks. Levi keeps his eyes on the man's chest, remembering all the bites he left on his skin and the times that Levi listened to his beating heart. Levi wants to reach out, to touch the man, bury himself in his musk, and merge with him. But he hesitates, that this is all a dream, and he will fall into his chest and land on the ground, crying his own puddle of tears. 

The man knows Levi’s hesitation and takes action. Levi watches as the man moves his right hand, the hand that had been gone for months. The man uses his thumb, gently brushing Levi’s strong cheekbone. Levi gasps, for the first time feeling a touch that his body yearned for years. Levi moves his head, falls into the man's touch. It’s not long before the man is cupping his cheek, his blue eyes peacefully looking at Levi’s face.

“My hell is existing where you are nowhere to be found,” Erwin admitted, the lump in his throat forming. 

Levi opened his eyes, he stared back at Erwin. Those blue eyes were as magnetic all those years ago and they still held pain. This moment calls the dams to breach and tears flow from Erwin’s blue eyes. It was a sight that Levi hated to see, his husband, his partner, the love of his life in so much pain. Levi was confused as to why these tears were of pain and not joy. They were finally together again, they were touching. Levi could hold this man, kiss him, make love to him for the rest of their days. 

“Stop that,” Levi said, his thumb wiping away Erwin’s tears. “You’re too pretty to cry and be hurt by a wretched thing like me.” 

“I... I’ve missed you so much.” Erwin whimpers. 

“Fucking hell,” Levi mumbled and threw himself into Erwin’s chest. 

Erwin wrapped his arms around Levi’s small frame, and all fell into place. Levi rested his ear to Erwin’s chest, the sweet symphony of Erwin’s beating heart. Inhaling, Levi took in Erwin’s scent, wondering how he still smelled of sunlight and honey. The defined body that laid under Erwin’s clothes merged with his own, his body embedding himself in the cracks of Erwin’s muscles. 

Levi was not one to cry or show emotions but his love for Erwin commanded him to lose all self. Levi’s chest heaved, his hands tightening around Erwin’s body. Levi’s mouth fell open and pitiful sobs began to pour from his mouth. Words could not describe how much he missed Erwin, how he lost himself so many times hoping that Erwin would come to save him once more. 

It was not long before Erwin’s chest faltered as well, cries coming from his lips as well. They had been taken away from each other too soon to start the life they wanted, the life they fought for, and the life they earned. 

Levi thought of the days when he would reunite with Erwin. He was not religious but after listening to Erwin call himself a “Devil” and believe that “Hell is waiting for me”, Levi considered it. If there was a heaven or hell, Levi would follow Erwin to it and they’d spend forever together, even if it meant suffering. But true suffering to Levi had been when Erwin died, living four years without the love of his life. 

_I never believed in gods or humans and then I met you and knew both were true. Levi thought to himself._

Levi didn’t want to do it, he didn’t want Erwin to die that day. He wanted to be selfish, to run away with Erwin as they talked about in bed at night. But, they had sworn their lives to protect humanity at all cost and that meant that their love had to take a back seat. The hardest choice Levi had to make was to let his husband go, to tell Erwin to ride to his death. 

But then when Floch brought Levi back to Erwin, he questioned their fate, that maybe there was a God watching out for them, wanting to be happy in this life. Levi was ready to give Erwin the injection, bring him back as a Titan, end the war and then live their remaining years together. Yet, Levi chose to let Erwin rest because he knew that this world was hell. This world did not deserve Commander Erwin, not the way they treated him. Erwin made the ultimate sacrifice and Levi was left to give it meaning. If Levi was selfish and brought Erwin back then it would have meant nothing. All the soldiers they’d lost throughout the years would have died for nothing. Most of all, Erwin had sacrificed and suffered too much, and to bring him back to this Hell, wasn’t fair. 

“I’m sorry,” Levi mumbled, his mouth moving against Erwin’s damp shirt. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Levi-” 

“You told me to kill him.” Levi hissed. “The Beast Titan and I didn’t. Then Zeke...he turned them all and Eren...I-shit...I-” 

“Levi,” Erwin said, his hand lifting Levi’s face to his. “It’s alright, you still have time.” 

Levi pulled away and looked at Erwin. He was confused, lost as to what Erwin was saying. They were in the Land of the Dead, Levi was dead. He could not save Eren, Paradise, or give Zeke the death he deserved. He was with Erwin and this is where he would stay, no one would separate them, not again. 

“No,” Levi shouted, realizing what Erwin meant, that he could go back and finish the war. “No, I’m not leaving you.” 

“Levi-” 

“I told you I would follow you anywhere and it led me here,” Levi stated, his breath fighting to sound strong and direct. 

“And you will, but not yet.” Erwin said softly, “The war is not finished, and neither are you.”

Levi grunted and ran his fingers through his damp raven hair. He couldn’t go back to the world, knowing that his heaven and Erwin were waiting for him. There was no war in this place, only Erwin and his peace. The Survey Corps was lost without Erwin and everyone knew that. Yet, they pretend like they knew how to cope and go one without their fierce leader. It didn’t stop everyone from questioning the decision of Hange and Eren going on his own mission. If Erwin was alive, none of this would have happened and it was all Levi’s fault. If he had been selfish then maybe, just maybe the world would have been better and wouldn’t be so alone. 

“I-I can’t,” Levi mumbled. “I’m so damn tired and I just want to rest with you.” 

Turning around, Levi looked into Erwin’s blue eyes. “Is that so hard, to want to live an eternity with you?” 

The ends of Erwin’s most perked up, the smile Levi had missed so much. This man was all Levi ever wanted and now he was told that he’d have to wait for it. 

“I’ve waited an eternity to find you and I’ll have another to love you,” Erwin explained, his massive hand reaching and waiting for Levi to take it. 

Levi trusted Erwin and would take his hand any other time, but this was different. If he took Erwin’s hand now, it meant that Levi was accepting the fate, that this would be the last time they touched for a while. Four years felt like decades and Levi didn’t know when or how his death would come. 

But now that he knew Erwin was on the other side, waiting for him, his own life seemed small. Levi could now greet death and not worry because he would wake up in Erwin’s arms. 

_It didn’t matter if Levi went back, for he knew his happiness would be found at the end of a blade._

“Will it hurt?” Levi asked, looking down at his own hand. 

“No,” Erwin said. “It’ll be like you’re waking up from a dream.” 

“But this isn’t a dream, is it?” 

“No.” Erwin “It’s our heaven.” 

Levi nodded and stepped closer, his hand now resting in Erwin’s palm. Erwin laced their hands together while his other hand slid around Levi’s tiny waist. Levi looked up into Erwin’s blue eyes again and could see the storming raging in them. This goodbye was harder than the first, but they knew that it would be their last one. 

“How will I wake up?” Levi asked. 

“The way you’ve put me to sleep.” Erwin reminded Levi. “The way I’ve taken your breath away.” 

“Four years here and your flirting hasn’t improved.” Levi teased to which Erwin chuckled. Levi’s heart sputtered, it had been years since he heard his husband laugh but it still warmed his blood and shook his very bones. 

“Mike said they worked on Nanaba.” Erwin shrugged. 

“Never take advice from Mike.” Levi chided. 

The two fell into a silence that spoke volumes. Their eyes scanning each other, putting their faces, voices, and bodies to memory. Erwin tilted his head while Levi slowly rose to the tip of his toes. Their lips connected in a soft embrace, smooth and steady as the life they wished they lived. 

Levi could sense it, the drawing of the waves, the wind silencing its chant, and the lingering touch of his husband. Tears slid down his cheeks as his hand gripped Erwin’s trying to savor this moment, not wanting to wake up. The feel of Erwin’s lips became faint with every moment passing and soon it all faded to black. 

\- 

Levi gasped, his eyes shooting open to find Hange staring at him.

“Levi,” Hange shrieked. “You’re awake, I thought I lost you.” 

“No,” Levi mumbled. “I’m not that lucky.” 

“A little morbid don’t you think?” Hange said, her hands finding Levi’s and holding them close to her chest. “You can’t leave, not yet. Tell Erwin the world still needs you.” 

“He knows,” Levi whispered. “He’s waiting for me.”


End file.
